10 Inappropriate Ways To Prepare For Football

Ten Inappropriate Ways To Get Ready For SEC Football

Aug 8th, 2011

By Kevin - SaturdayDownSouth
Follow @KevinSDS

Does it get more inappropriate?

We all have our unique ways of mentally, physically and emotionally preparing for the start of the season. Some men start to wear their team’s colors more often, others go to extremes. Today we honor those of you who go to extremes, and maybe even provide a few suggestions on how to up your game.

Please have a look at ten inappropriate ways to get ready for SEC football:

1. Acquire some Spike 80DF and kill off some of your rival (or just plain annoying) neighbor’s prized landscaping. Bonus points for calling into a radio show and bragging about it.

2. You’ve heard of wine and food tasting, well, in honor of Les Miles, consider holding a grass tasting.

3. With this next one, we pay homage to a coach who had just a brief stint in the SEC down in Gainesville… even if you’re a grown man, go find a frat house and pick a fight with some members.

4. Rush the field / court at a local pick up game with your buddies prior to the game being finished Derek Dooley style.

5. Get a statue of yourself bronzed and placed in your front yard. Nick Saban pose preferred.

6. Put up a billboard containing a picture of yourself and the phrase “This is my neighborhood” Dan Mullen style.

7. Go binge drinking Stephen Garcia style then follow it up with an arrest for public urination like his coach.

8. If you’re a business owner, try to steal some employees from your competitor by offering their family $180,000.

9. Spend the next three weeks telling your wife and kids you intend to spend much more time with them this fall, then watch more football than ever.

10. Go watch a Nascar race shirtless letting it all hang out. Don’t forget some cans of Coors.