Wise drunk man

A guy woke up in the morning with a terrible hangover. Next to the bed was a couple of aspirins, a glass of water, and a note from his wife. Honey, there's a hot breakfast waiting for you in the kitchen. Love, your wife. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He stumbles into the bathroom and notices a huge black eye. After shaving, he goes to the kitchen, and sees that the hall mirror is broken too.

His son is in the kitchen and as he's eating his huge breakfast the guy asks the son what all this is about.

Well, last night you came home drunk off your ass, stumbled into the mirror and hit your head on the doorknob. Mom helped you to bed, and as she's trying to get your pants off you kicked her away and said get off me lady, I'm married!